I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
