I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
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I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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