You can't motorboat a personality
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize