The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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