you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
