It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she pinky promised me she was 18
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
