tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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