you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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