Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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