Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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