I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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