Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
