I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
