Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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