So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
