i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
