**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I pour the whiskey from now on
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
