Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
