How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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