Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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