remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
