Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
