'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
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Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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