she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
