My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize