went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
