You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
