Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is it penis luge time yet?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
