Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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