All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
