so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it penis luge time yet?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize