CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
