I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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