It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize