Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
