I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
