She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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