I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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