I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
