My first STD was from a foam party
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
