a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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