I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
