I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
