i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
