best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
