i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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