i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
