for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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