im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
