And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He has the fingertips of a God
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