): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
