Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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