One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
