i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
