How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
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Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
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First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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