I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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