nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
