like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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