i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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