I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
