brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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