5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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