I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
