I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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