Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
